多事之夏

我女朋友，yael, 跟她朋友去练瑜伽，每周二她们俩去做怀孕女人的瑜伽。对，好像我们快收一个宝宝，她快是第六个月的。太厉害。责任很多，时光也太快走了，本来就是三月四月，我说那时间还多，可以慢慢来。一眼而去，直到第五月了。太快。

让人恐怕的是我还没找到一个正正当当的工作。几年上都徘徊做野人，没有认真的工作。现在“假期”快完了，我不可以再做这样。另一方面，我也不知道要当什么人。的确是学老师证，可是最几个月并没有认真的读书。好像明天也有一个考试，我都不参加。

我怕我太习惯的懒。每天都自己会决定做什么，随随便便活着。一般来说，人人都需要什么境界，什么圈，要不是都乱七八糟的过时间。这跟我学习中文有点相似，过了五个年至今，我还有时试一试描绘什么事，仍然会碰到些苦难，不知道怎么办。 说明来，这是因为语言广泛，说法无数。这几年我让千万词语流进我头脑，一来二去，没留下了什么大印象。因此我时时会觉得我中文很差，别的时又觉得我中文挺棒。这都是因语言实践不安定而发生的。这个不安定性导致了很多问题。例如说，我刚刚受到了一个电话，是一场翻译公司给我打电话，他们使我明天去beer sheva位于以色列南方的城市在法庭做翻译。以前我做过了一些翻译，但是我还受这种工作感觉很紧张，不知道要不要承受这个工作。

真讨厌结婚

就是说，讨厌的不是结婚自己，而且关于结婚的所有文化。大家经常说到结婚，准备结婚，根据结婚准备自己的生活。向结婚做太多牺牲。

舞会我很喜欢。人为喜而聚也挺好。可是为什么要尽力做这个？话反说来，结婚为什么从喜事成为义务？我说，婚礼一成义务，就没有好玩的了。

细节说，我和女朋友已准备去外国度假，罗曼呀什么的，还不清楚。这好像就是我们俩最后一趟旅行，因为她怀孕了，宝宝大概终天出生。

时期决定好了后，她突然想起旅行的时候还有她朋友的告别单身派对，简单说：因一夜的派对我们要改天提前去。改天就是对我来说不适应极了，因为我那以前我有很想参加的马拉亚拉姆语课。不过关于结婚的事，结婚理所当然优先。马拉亚拉姆语因结婚而掉去。

schlafen gehen

Ich sitz gerade in unserem salon, yael sitzt vor ihrem von mir zum geburtstag geschenkten nähenapparat, und feilt über eine tischlatte. diese nächte des sommers, wo man nicht weiß ob er halt schlafen gehen soll, damit er früher aufsteht, oder bloß weiter blogs liest, und versucht irgendwie die zeit amüsiert zu verbringen. was ist das mit amüsieren, dass man immer wach hält? wenn ich amüsiert bin, finde ich es schwierig, schlafen zu gehen. im grunde genommen, tiefer betrachtet, egal wie mag ich den schlaf, gehe ich fast immer ungern schlafen. mir ist vorgemerkt, der schlaf essenziel auch kein ende der amüsation. ich träume beim schlafen, ganz viel nächtlich, ich erlebe und bearbeite, manchmal sogar des schlafenseins bewußt.

warum denn nicht schlafen gehen wollen? ich glaube es hängt eng mit der beziehung zum morgen zusammen. wenn der morgenliche tag uns viel anspricht, oder irgendwie jegliche gefahren beeinhaltet, dann passiert was. vielleicht haben wir was dagegen, wollen die auseinandersetzung mit dem morgen bzw. dem morgenlichen tag womöglich verschieben. oder, wie oft auch vorkommt, wollen wir ganz schnel sicher ins bett schleichen, damit wir die kräfte für morgen zusammensammeln, uns gut darauf vorbereiten.

ich würde schätzen, die „probleme“ – genauer gesagt, die schlafstörung – kommt wenn wir dem morgen gar appatisch bleiben. wenn er bei uns kein interesse auch immer weckt, sprich uninteresse zeugt. wir sind uninteressiert, weil morgen ja doch wie heute aussehen wird, und heute ist ja schon da.

so ist es bei mir allerdings. jetzt will ich aber wohl schlafen gehen, schreiben auf einer fremden sprache macht man schon schummrig. und jetzt denke ich mir eine viertel stunde reicht wohl, wenn ich jetzt ständig auf fremden sprachen schreiben will. früher versuchte ich das mit einer stunde, also eine tägliche stunde schreiben. das projekt scheiterte noch vor beginn.

Three reasons why this blog got into a crisis

1. I have no computer anymore. It’s yesterday’s news, so in short – three ugly guys came into the bar, two distracted me enough time for the third to take my things and go. I think over and over again about the scene. Of course, in all the reenactments I jump these two guys, beat them to pulp or drag them to the police. “I was either too smart or too chicken to try and grab one of them”, I wrote to my family a couple of hours after the incident. But eventually, I realized I was neither: the thought of attacking them just didn’t came up. That is to be granted not only to my peacefull nature, but to human reactions in these situations. Imagine yourself getting a punch on the street from somebody you don’t know, just like that. Your first reaction wouldn’t be anger, but sheer amazement. This was my reaction, and whether for good or bad – I failed to transform amazement into rage.

2. Along with the computer, I lost the comfort and will need to write.

3. My blog, as the one of countless others, has been blocked for me for a few weeks. now. This is due to the tendency of government leaders – in Israel, for example – to be sometimes more interested in telling people what to think, say, and remember, than in justifying their own leadership by making the people feel actually better. From this it can be understood why I made a special effort to release this hasted post today. well then, 4th of June to you.

Face-Off, the post (not the shitty movie)

An (originally) short comment about facebook. I hate it. It's slow, it's annoying, and as every sane person, i don't like getting idiotic messages, not to mention the eternal "this and this made a quiz about that and that".

At the same time, i enjoy reading people's statuses, which always brings the most human and at the same time most creative of people, and even the looking at their pictures. Moreover, I do believe in it's ability to maintain relationships, and bring people together.

People are quick to criticize the “fake” friendships, which are based on nothing more than two people knowing each other names. Some are so. But i cannot wonder, how deep do "real" personal friendships really go? I am not talking about the most intimate of friendships (how many of these can an average man have? I'd say no more than 10), but of the ones with other people, who are in the same social circles long enough to be defined as "personal friends". These also can of course be very rewarding, but during my life, I have gotten (and certainly given) the cold shoulder from people regarded as personal long-time friends, and on the other hand, received great help from people who barely knew me.

Take my time in China as an example. Now i have a kind of a house in China, but there was a time i only had bags to move from bed to bed. More than half of it (Beijing, Yinchuan) was spent in other people's (4) houses. Only one of them did I know before coming to China, and also only shallowly. Nonetheless, they have let me into their house. This is, in part, thanks to the world created by networks such as facebook or couchsurfing, according to which, if somebody is a friend of a friend, he's probably also your friend.

Going back to the example i wrote about recently - the guy who is in a "Arab hating" group. with me as a friend, and with the friends i have, i wouldn't rule out the possibility that he's a mere three friend \ Kevin Bacon degrees from a guy in a "hate Israelis" group. Facebook has actually brought them closer together. Us optimistic "friends" can hope it's a matter of time before they realize that - whether they like it or not, whether it be real or virtual - they are part of the same network.

Swine flu has made it to Beijing!

no, it's just me. but i do enjoy a good swine, when it's still alive and snorting.

so i've made it back to big b, after a long night of hard seat traveling with the rest of us country bumbkins. hard seat costed a hundred yuan less that sleeper class, and i told myself "it's not my first day in China, i can make it", picturing myself happily sleeping despite sitting (i am proud about the unfussiness of my sleeping ability). little did i know that darkness is a luxury kept only for the sleeper class. as in an experiment, everything was left lit, enough reason to push the number of non-sleepers to a majority, which (in a democracy as a democracy) was glad to exert its rights by smoking, laughing, shouting, and of course - loudly playing bad quality music in horrible quality sound out of cellphones. now that's one chinese habit the world could do better without.

but i did manage to sleep, and made it back to the good old warm city, the improved version of the menacing cold city, to which one pale february afternoon a young ambitious traveler came, equiped with nothing but a fully-stamped passport and a dream of studying Mandarin (three-months-old nostalgy... how pathetic can you get?). now it carressed me with its giant buildings, reassuringly showing me how small i am, and with its huge yet already familiar transport system, in which i sat sorrounded by various bejingers, all of them just too cool for school (in comparison with the kaifengers' "too poor for school"). there's nothing as efficient as an underground system in order to remind me how far i am from home.

meeting again with local friends - amongst them the great teacher Zhang, sure was a treat, on top of it new friends, such as the nice mister Ping, who ran into me in this nice Taoist temple, "White Clouds Temple", and showed me around. he has spent a year in Israel back in 1990, studying its agriculture.

so all in all it's been a refreshing two-day experience. tommorow i probably get a new passport, and head back to Henan.

Just another Kaifeng morning...

“Oh, who is that, rushing on his bicycle through the hutong, almost knocking-off the baozi stand?! Is that little Zhao, or the beautiful yet humble Mei-li? Oh no, that’s 光华. Probably late for class again. He comes from that faraway land where they talk Arabic and fight all the time... you know, somewhere next to Pakistan. I heard from old-man Zhang that he’s been taking his showers at the campus pool, and noise-hard-sound-loud sucking on noodles like there is no tomorrow – so cute, he thinks he’s Chinese! He was so happy to settle in Kaifeng, but seems he will have to schlep soon all the way to Shanghai or Beijing, exactly the monster-cities he has ran away from. No, it's not tourism – he has seen the Wall, as well as the Forbidden City, and couldn’t really care for Shanghai… it’s the visa stuff that urging. Ha-ha-ha, these funny foreigners! How they stream-strong-river-long rush into our Middle Kingdom, without even looking at their papers before that. Yes, he has initially spent three weeks in Beijing, enough time to renew his passport 7 times (not to mention a year and a half back home before that, where he wouldn’t have to pay 450 rmb for issuing a new one). Must have been too busy learning useless literary Chinese vocabulary, or yelling ‘I don’t eat meat, I don’t meat!’ at amazed waiters, to take a look at his passport, just this short little glimpse, and realizing ‘hey, I got no pages left’. Guess those Jews are not as smart as we made them to be after all. Get the 'Jewish Secrets for Making Money' and 'How Smart Jews Control the World' books off the shelves, and put some more of the good old Mao and Deng stuff! Oh, what a wonderful Chinese-style socialism did we build here, what a thriving economy, what an initiative society. Ten-thousand years for Chairman Hu! Ten-thousand miles for stupid Zohar”